Rules of Happiness #1 – January 6 Devotions

On this day, 1-6-16, I thought I’d use a slightly new approach and share one “rule” each day for 17 days from 17 Rules of Happiness by Karl Moore (or what is now updated to 18 rules).




“Every day, most of us focus on the grey clouds in the sky. Life is dim and gloomy, and showers are just minutes away. But we forget something. We don’t remember that just behind those clouds, the sun is beaming brightly – every single minute of every single day. These are 17 rules designed to shift your perspective, helping you to rediscover the happiness you may have forgotten.” –Karl Moore

So here’s the first rule:

Rule #1 – Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!

“It’s not going to help the situation. It’ll only help you to wallow in a state of apathy, playing the victim.

The kind of person that things happen to, but that can’t do anything about it.

By stopping feeling sorry for yourself, you can actually get on and DO something about it.

If you want to be happy – stop feeling sorry for yourself.” –Karl Moore

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”
-– Helen Keller
My reflections:

This first rule is an “ouchy” one! It’s far too easy to give in to self-pity sometimes. Yet I know it’s not, honestly, a good feeling and only produces more negative feelings. This first rule also reminds me of a saying I’ve heard about getting off the pity pot!

So what are YOUR thoughts?

What do you think about this first rule and its application to happiness? Do you struggle with self-pity?


This Post Has 29 Comments

  1. Such a great series idea, this is a really hard one! I can’t wait to see what day 2 is. Thanks for sharing.

  2. This is absolutely a great message and a good tips for me and i think many people would agree on this.

  3. This is the entire theme of my memoir. People can’t believe everything that happened and yet it is the right attitude that gets you through. Hoarding unforgiveness or playing the martyr get you nowhere but deeper in depression.

  4. Self-pity is the worst kind of favor that we can do ourselves, Karen. If we don’t believe in our abilities, how will we expect the rest of the world to?

    I’ve always avoided the victim mentality. One way that I do this is to laugh at the situation and put a distance between it and myself. Difficult at times but at least I have some control over my actions.
    Vatsala Shukla recently posted..Money Management and Lifestyle MaintenanceMy Profile

  5. Self pity will never get you anywhere other than depression. You’ll end up not doing anything good for yourself because you keep sulking. This is definitely one of the things we have to rid of in order to be happy.

  6. I think if people were just a little more happy – the world would be a better place.

  7. Self pity is such a waste of time. Say thank-you for the opportunities that have come your way and grasp them with both hands. Most of them probably look like hard work. Hard work can only make you stronger. Be thankful that you have a brain in your head and the breath in your body.

  8. Self pity is not healthy but we can all been partial to it before. It can have negative consequences and affect our happiness levels.
    Ana De- Jesus recently posted..Elie Beautmont: A ReviewMy Profile

  9. This is great post indeed, I think our own happiness has no rules.

  10. Wallowing in self-pity never helps anyone and can become dangerously habit forming.What a great idea to post these happiness reminders and as you said the fist rule is hard as its so easy to give in to self-pity.
    Tamuria recently posted..How to Make a Garden GoddessMy Profile

  11. Sadly many people don’t awaken to excitement about a brand new day. They are inspired & look forward to all the inspirational & motivational posts you see all over social media.I am blessed with a promising view of every day.

  12. This is the theme for my year and it was the same theme for 2015….
    Mardene Carr recently posted..Back To YouMy Profile

  13. thank you for sharing this. I will always remind myself never to entertain any thoughts leading to self-pity 🙂

  14. I try to go to sleep every night thinking of all the blessings i have. It is important to remind ourselves of all the good things we have.

  15. This is so relevant when selling. Feeling sorry for yourself when you lose a deal is a waste of time and effort. “Onwards and upwards” is my motto to combat self pity!

  16. This is often called the “victim” type of personality, where they are at the whim of the world. Things happen “to” them and they feel “woe-is-me” because of it. To truly empower ourselves, is to take responsibility for all our actions and all the circumstances we find ourselves in. Look at life as opportunity and possibility, rather than dread for a new day. We do have a choice in how we are in our lives. We create and re-create them each moment of each day!
    Beverley Golden recently posted..No Act is Too Small in the Fight to End Climate ChangeMy Profile

  17. So many people engage themselves in self-pity and as much as you try to raise them up you just can’t.

    I have given up trying to make everyone happy and made peace with the idea that it’s not my job to do so. All that I do is to make sure I am happy and then it’s just contagious because people around me become happier too.

    Such a great and important message, Karen, I’m glad you’re raising awareness.
    Delia Rusu recently posted..Bring traffic to your blog just by showing your pretty faceMy Profile

  18. I think everyone at one time or another has slipped into the “victim” mode. It’s so tiring to be around someone who is constantly there, I can’t imagine living a life that way. But, with that being said, when we do slip, and it’s usually during a time of overwhelm, learning what works for you to turn it around, and practicing that will help change your habit of slipping into that mindset.
    Lisa Swanson recently posted..How To Make Carbs Work In Your FavorMy Profile

  19. From an early age (I can remember this as a child) I always looked at other people and said “I’m happy I don’t have their problems”. I think some of that outlook came from having a friend with childhood leukemia and how she bore herself through the constant treatments, blood draws, and so forth. I can feel sorry for myself when I am in pain from a couple of physical issues I have – otherwise, I try hard to veer away from self pity.
    Alana recently posted..What A Difference Two Years MakeMy Profile

  20. This reminds me of a success principle around taking responsibility. Doing things like feeling shame is not coming from a place of empowerment and responsibility.

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