Are relationships with others based on 50/50 shared responsibility? Or should each of us be willing to take 100% responsibility, giving preference to others, as long as we’re not involved in abusive or dangerous relationships with other people?
How often do we wish we could change somebody to be more to our liking?
Whether the person is a spouse, “significant other,” child, friend, business associate, colleague, client, service provider…there’s usually that tendency to see the negative before we see the positive and want to change what we don’t like, instead of focusing on what we do like in an individual.
I read an article and watched this thought-provoking little 2 1/2-minute video about the “100/0 Principle” which emphasizes the novel concept to take 100% responsibility for a relationship and expect nothing in return. The interesting thing is, when you do that – it often changes the outcome, as the person with whom you’re interacting responds in kind.
Funny, sounds just like the “sowing and reaping” principle – typically, if you “sow” seeds of criticism, you “reap” a judgmental attitude from someone in return –if you “sow” seeds of encouragement, you “reap” kindness in return.
Additional inspiration for today…
“Giving preference to others
requires a willingness to adapt and adjust.
It means to allow another to go first
or to have the best of something.
We show preference when we allow someone
with fewer groceries in his cart
than we have in ours
to go in front of us
at the supermarket checkout counter,
or when we are waiting in line
to use a public restroom
and someone behind us in line is pregnant or elderly
and we choose to let that individual go ahead of us.
Each time we show preference,
we have to make a mental adjustment.
We were planning to be first,
but we decide to be second.
We are in a hurry,
but we decide to wait on someone else
who seems to have a greater need.
A person is not yet rooted and grounded in love
until he or she has learned
to show preference to others (see Ephesians 3:17).
Don’t just learn to adjust,
but learn to do it with a good attitude.
Learning to do these things
is learning to walk in love.”
–Joyce Meyer in “New Day New You”
I’m thinking about what kind of changes I need to make to change outcomes in situations I’m currently experiencing or anticipating.
I think I’m usually a giving, considerate person most of the time, but other times I know I feel protective or cautious about what will happen if I change and the other person doesn’t. It’s definitely an issue of trust, and learning to adjust AND have a good attitude while doing so.
So what are YOUR thoughts?
What do you think about the 100/0 principle? Do you agree with it?
Can you think of areas you need to make changes in?